Ideal Humor - Kidz

As kids see it A few years ago, I learnt just how much young children take to heart the things we unknowingly say to them. When my daughter was four and quite a handful, I would, at times, in sheer exasperation, call her a pest. One day, my husband informed me that our housing society had fixed an appointment with the pest control company to get rid of cockroaches and termites. Hearing this, my usually bubbly daughter became quiet and asked with trepidation, “Are they coming to control me?” - Parvathi Shekhar The rule when my children were young was: If you complain about my cooking, you have to cook the next day. One busy afternoon, the skin on the chicken I was roasting got too dark and my eight-year-old son eyed the meat and said glumly, “Burned chicken again.” Looking at me, he quickly blurted, “Just the way I like it!” - Noella Andress My husband and I were packing for a two-week vacation when our daughter and her family came to say bon voyage. As they left, our four-year-old grandson, Griffin, reminded us, “Don’t forget to send me an e-mail! It can say: Dear Griffin, we bought you something.” - Vicki Deeton Laine, our six-year-old daughter, came home from school very excited to show us what she’d learnt in her safety programme. “This is what I have to do if a stranger approaches me and tries to take me.” She took a deep breath, grimaced and yelled, “Help! Help! This is not my mother! I am being adopted!” - Maureen Howell We live in bear country and one day spotted a mother bear and her cubs picking berries nearby. I sat my two youngsters down and told them, “If you ever see a bear, run to the nearest house, go in and close the door tight.” My daughter looked up with big eyes and asked, “Do I knock first?” - Myrna E. Wallis Colin, my six-year-old cousin, hurt his head so badly that his dad took him to hospital. On the way, his dad prepared him for what would happen. “The nurse will take a picture of your bones to see if any are broken,” he said reassuringly. In the waiting room, Colin appeared more and more anxious. “Dad,” he worriedly asked, “how's the nurse going to get my skin off to see my bones?” - Tonya Thibeau Our granddaughter was on her way to a friend's house for a sleepover when she asked her dad how many pieces there were in a motorcycle. “Why do you want to know?” he asked. “Because,” she replied excitedly, “Leah's dad says if we clean his motorcycle, he’ll pay us $2 apiece!” - Jessie Sparks My daughter, a teacher, takes care to expand her children’s vocabulary. When my eight-year-old grandson, Steven, was visiting, I tucked him into bed after a story, prayers and a kiss. He padded downstairs soon after. “Grandma, I’m not sleepy now,” he pleaded. “Can’t I be nocturnal for just one night?” - Hennie VanderSchee The grocery store lineup was long, and I was wondering how to keep my three-year-old daughter busy when, to my relief, an elderly man ahead of us turned to chat. “What’s your name?” he asked my daughter. “Rebecca,” she said. Eager to carry on the budding conversation, she continued, “And my baby brother’s name is Nolan.” Every shopper in line was now paying attention. Delighted with her captive audience, Rebecca added, “And my daddy’s name is Lover!” - D.L. Woodman Our minister concluded his Mother’s Day sermon by pointing to the congregation and firing a question: “Where would you be right now if it weren’t for your mother?” The silence that followed was broken by a six-year-old boy. “At home,” he replied. - C.E. Goodwin My four-year-old son and I were walking along the bank of a river when he got the sudden urge to toss a stick into the water. But there weren’t any sticks around, so I reached into my pocket and took out a coin. “Here, this is better,” I said. “Throw this coin into the river and make a wish.” He closed his eyes, made a wish and threw the coin. “So you made a wish?” I asked him. “Yes,” he said. “I wished I had a stick.” - S. O’Connor We were playing “I spy something with my little eye” while having dinner. When my six-year-old daughter’s turn came, she asked us to guess something with the letter F. The three of us, including my wife and son, scanned the entire room and mentioned visible articles such as fork, frame and flowerpot. All of us were wrong. Finally we gave up and asked her for the answer. “Family,” she replied. - Viren Dayal, Mumbai